REVIEW: The Callous Daoboys – I Don’t Want to See You in Heaven [2025]
Artist: The Callous Daoboys
Album: I Don’t Want to See You in Heaven
The front doors are wide open—warm, gloomy light oozes from dusty, recessed fixtures organized in tedious rows, guiding the burgeoning crowd through a labyrinth of exhibits peppered with LCD displays looping video footage; colorful still photographs arranged next to displays of carefully upkeep memorabilia. As you—a purveyor of fine art and high couture—cross the threshold into the exhibit, a voice booms over the speakers:
The Museum of Failure proudly presents the ‘I Don’t Want to See You in Heaven’ collection by The Callous Daoboys…
Conceptually organized as a sort of tour through what would undoubtedly be an impressive museum exhibition, The Callous Daoboys’ third full length record titled I Don’t Want to See You in Heaven is, in concise terms, a masterwork. Infusing a backbone of harsh, spastic mathcore with elements of alt-emo sensibility a la Fall Out Boy worship, adult contemporary, drum-n-bass and a little bit of the Daoboys proprietary blend that’s been brewing since 2017, this Atlanta sextet have crafted an experience that transcends genre to bewilder the listener into total submission—though they’re likely to enjoy every second of it.
The listener’s first steps through The Callous Daoboys’ stunning exhibit feels akin to stepping in front a firing squad. “Schizophrenia Legacy” and “Full Moon Guidance” work as an eclectic one-two punch, demonstrating that the band continue to push and prod at the borders that define distinct genres while never creating the same unique amalgamation. “Schizophrenia Legacy” is chaotic and malicious but manages to feel like a warm hug—a familiar barrage of blistering drumming from Matthew Hague and leviathan fretwork from Maddie Caffrey and Daniel Hodson. Rapidly toggling from spastic salvos of ruthless guitar and pulverizing percussion to a vicious, subtle and catchy chorus championed by frontman Carson Pace himself, “Schizophrenia Legacy” is probably the closest to “good ol Daoboys” the listener gets. This is in stark contrast to the two songs that follow—“Full Moon Guidance” and lead single “Two-Headed Trout.” While the former sounds influenced from equal parts Aiden, Chiodos and The Mars Volta, the latter is probably the most anthemic cut not only on I Don’t Want to See You in Heaven, but of The Callous Daoboys’ career. “Full Moon Guidance” blends scathing, emo-tinted antics and mesmerizing lyrical ingenuity to perfection, while “Two-Headed Trout” is what kids these days (I think) call a bop from start to finish. Nu-metal tinted metalcore antics from Hodson and Caffrey blend into and out of one of the decade’s finest choruses—what more could you want? The first of the record’s four figurative “groupings” is closed by “Tears on Lambo Leather,” an easy front-runner for anyone who wants to throw ‘bows and drop a spin-kick. Here, manic and spastic nu-metal elements meet in a head-on crash with Drum-n-Bass and Orthodox’s frontman Adam Easterling. What’s more? Bassist Jackie Buckalew works in destructive dialectic with Hague, Hodson and Caffrey, giving one of the most uncompromising and aggressive instrumental performances the record has to offer—with arguably one of the best song names to boot.
As the listener’s tour through the I Don’t Want to See You in Heaven collection progresses into its second leg, the listener is met with “Lemon,” a song that sees The Callous Daoboys in a poppier, more alternative-fueled (but not like a Prius) light than we’ve yet to see. The subtle electronics and serene guitar—crooned over by a bitter and spiteful Pace—blend into “Body Horror for Birds.” If the listener thought “Lemon” was a departure—and they probably did—“Body Horror for Birds” is infinitely more off-kilter. Here, violinist Amber Christman takes a more pivotal role (though, don’t get it twisted—she shines throughout the record), working alongside an infinitely more tactful Hague to create something adjacent to adult contemporary. Vaguely reminiscent of The Steve Miller Band—but more dejected and moody—“Body Horror for Birds” works alongside “Lemon” as another song that puts Pace dead center stage, peeling back skin for the listener to feast their eyes and ears upon. While these songs feel so stylistically different from anything The Callous Daoboys have done before—so different that on paper it feels like they shouldn’t work—the truth is that, in practice, they work beautifully. While these songs might not represent The Callous Daoboys as the listener has come to know them, it also feels like no artist but them could have written these songs, and they work perfectly with the ebb and flow of the exhibit that is I Don’t Want to See You in Heaven.
Once the listener finishes co-lead single (if that’s a thing) “The Demon of Unreality Limping Like a Dog,” they are thrust into the penultimate exhibition of I Don’t Want to See You in Heaven—one that sees the band’s collective pendulum swinging back towards the frantic and blistering. “Idiot Temptation Force” and “Douchebag Safari” are two back-to-back moment that should remind the listener exactly why The Callous Daoboys are at the top of the game when it comes to mathcore—or really heavy music in general. Where “Idiot Temptation Force” feels like someone detonated a ten-ton warhead inside of a Vegas wedding chapel, “Douchebag Safari” will have the listener hurling fists in full caveman mode (you’ll get it when you press play). The band only grow heavier and more unhinged as these two tracks proceed, with even more utterly bipolar genre infusions that shouldn’t work but actually work really, really well. “Idiot Temptation Force” is perhaps one of the best examples of this throughout the record’s entirety. Pace’s unhinged vocals—atop immense, primal and immaculate instrumentation from the remainder of the Daoboys—make these songs some of the finest throughout the star-studded experience that is I Don’t Want to See You in Heaven—even as they segue into “Distracted by the Mona Lisa,” a cut that could just as easily be a B-side to Infinity on High or Folie a Deux. Alt-rock, emo and post-hardcore blend in this immensely catchy cut that…well, what am I saying, it’s available to listen to now, just go listen to it.
Prior to what is framed within the concept of the album to be the recently-recovered final track, this would be the ending to I Don’t Want to See You in Heaven—but as The Museum of Failure had recently uncovered a final closing track, the record’s story isn’t quite done. “III. Country Song in Reverse,” the band’s most ambitious undertaking to date (outside of “Body Horror for Birds,” possibly), this twelve-minute closing cut is a raunchy exposition of the band as a whole. “III. Country Song in Reverse” feels as though it takes the band’s entire eight-year history and revisits it all in one singular epic. An eerie introduction gives way into a sludgy, malevolent segment that has some of Hague’s coolest percussion throughout the entirety of the record—only to be swept up into a series of parts with ear-cutting violin, skin-rending guitar and a hyperdynamic vocal display from Pace that demands a standing ovation. Much like many of the other things written throughout the article, you—a scrupulous and concerned reader—might be thinking that a twelve minute Daoboys song can’t work. Surprise, asshole: it does. “III. Country Song in Reverse” is a stunning testament to everything The Callous Daoboys do, and takes it up several notches—if you’ve wanted it from this band, you’ll get it in this song, and “II. Opt Out” definitely warns you.
I Don’t Want to See You in Heaven is an exhibit—or record—that I’ve been waiting for with baited breath since falling in love with the band on Die on Mars. After Celebrity Therapist, a crown jewel in modern mathcore, it seemed unclear how the band could do any better; on I Don’t Want to See You in Heaven, they do. A stunning, emotional and eviscerating expose, The Callous Daoboys’ third record and seminal installation in The Museum of Failure is so incredible that if this is what is considered failure, I’m afraid of what success might look like. Either way, here’s hoping that the next thing they release is the Daoboys Seaworld footage.
10/10
For Fans Of: The Dillinger Escape Plan, Kaonashi, HeavyHeavyLowLow, Botch, Fall Out Boy, what is this FFO section?
By: Connor Welsh
